AB/DL vs. Littles vs. Age Players vs. Everything Else

Hello and thank you for returning!

I have noticed that so many people in the BDSM community do not fully understand the differences between ABDL, littles and age players. There are so many differences with this one aspect of the BDSM community that it can get confusing if you are not involved with the kink, fetish or lifestyle yourself.

Most people who are not familiar with the terms below associate them with pedophiles and other negative terms for sex crimes against minors. Before you start thinking that way I am going to stop you right now. Each person that participates in any of the following behaviors is adults. They are not minors. These adults want to do these things with other adults. They do not like children, they like to act like a child. They are not sexually turned on by actual children who wear diapers or who play with their biological, adopted, or foster parent. They are attracted to full-grown adults who participate in ROLE PLAYING.


ABDL stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lovers. For most people who are ABDL do not engage in sexual activity while role-playing as an adult baby but as any kink or fetish, some do.

ABDL's tend to enjoy wearing diapers. These can be actual baby diapers or adult briefs for incontinence. Some ABDL's use their diapers for both wetting and messes but others just like to wear them. There are some Diaper Lovers that do not fit the Adult Baby role. They are more of a Diaper Fetishist, those individuals tend to get joy sexually and non-sexually via wearing diapers or viewing others wear diapers.

There are some Adult Baby Diaper Lovers that enjoy humiliation involving and wearing diapers. Others enjoy that helplessness feeling they get when they regress to infantilism.


Infantilism is known as "childish behavior" the persistence of infantile characteristics or behavior in adult life. This could be anyone who still has their inner child or who does not act like an adult. Infantilism is much different then Paraphilic infantilism.

Paraphilic Infantilism:

Paraphilic Infantilism also is known as Autonepiphilia or Adult Baby Syndrome are actual diagnoses given by a psychologist. Individuals that are normally diagnosed with autonepiphilia or Adult Baby Syndrome have behaviors that may include the following:

* Drinking from a bottle

* Wearing a diaper

* Wear onesie or other clothing

* Using pacifiers

Infantilism is much different than any other aspect because people diagnosed with Paraphilic Infantilism or Autonepiphilia have no control of what they are doing, ABDL, Bigs, Littles and Age players are all in control of what they are doing and choose to act as an individual of a younger age.

All of the above engage in gentle and nurturing experiences. Some of the above can also identify as being Masochistic, which they like to be punished and/or have humiliating experiences. Most individuates who participate in any type of regression and role-play within this community generally call their partners either Mommy or Daddy. This is common with Littles.

Bigs and littles:

Big/little play is when a person or people embody a different biological age. The little acts as a younger age while the Big acts as their caretaker, this could be Mommy or Daddy. Generally, a little is of acting of ages between infant to 12 while middles are generally acting as ages13-18. Activities that correlate with them normally age-appropriate, however, as a reminder, they are adults and can choose to do any adult activity they desire.

An interesting aspect of Big/little play is how it occurs. This can occur in scenes or an ongoing relationship dynamic. “Some littles may embody this relationship with their big without acting specifically like a child, in what is more of a spiritual big/little arrangement. For littles that do ageplay, the little will fully release the inner child and take on the attributes of that specific age” (The Posting Maven, 2015).

Why are people drawn to Big/little play? They can be for many reasons, no relationship or person is alike, but this is what I have seen and heard from individuals who live this lifestyle, they have an opportunity to be special in someone’s life, they have rewards and power along with responsibility. There is a chance to relive a time of innocence, they get to continue to see the world through wonder and curiosity and they can become free of stress and pressures of the real world.

You may be asking how Big and littles are different then ABDL. While some people can be considered both little and ABDL they do differ because not all littles are DL’s. Not every little identify as an AB and vice versa.

Age Players:

“Age play or ageplay is a form of role-playing in which individual acts or treats another as if they were a different age. Ageplay is role-playing between adults and involves consent from all parties. Portraying any age can be the goal of ageplay, from babies to the elderly. Usually, this involves someone pretending to be younger than they are, but more rarely can involve assuming an older role” (Holly, 2013). Age Players do not generally live this as a lifestyle but they do it for scenes in role-playing. Generally, ABDLs, Bigs, and Littles all live their roles as often as possible and it becomes part of their life.

Terms from The Posting Maven:

Little: someone who feels younger than they truly are and enjoys exploring this younger self. A little is typically a submissive in a BDSM dynamic but maybe a dominant or a switch outside of big/little play. Littles are treated more tenderly by their Bigs than in other Dom/sub arrangement. The focus is on nurturing the little, though rules are still put into place for the little’s behavior.

Big/caregiver: someone who cares for a little.

Daddy Dom: a masculine identity for a little’s caretaker. Daddy doms blend traditional dominance with the kindness of a parental role; sometimes called gentle Doms.

Mommy Domme: a feminine identity for a little’s caretaker. A female-identifying person who consensually takes power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene or activity.


Holly. (2013, April 06). What Is Age Play? Retrieved March 04, 2018, from https://kinklovers.com/bdsm-facts/what-is-age-play/

The Posting Maven. (2015, June 28). ID a Day: Bigs & Littles • The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health. Retrieved March 04, 2018, from http://www.thecsph.org/id-a-day-bigs-littles/

30 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All