Terms from Other Sites

ABDL and little/Big Community

Age Identity

A person's private sense, and subjective experience, of how mature they feel.  All societies have a set of age categories that can serve as the basis of the formation of social identity with other members of society. In most societies, there is a basic division between age attributes assigned to the different age identities. Society assigns age identities based on one's chronological age or appearance. Just as one's gender identity is not necessarily dependent on one's assigned sex, one's age identity is independent of the age of their body. Additionally, the line between gender identity/expression and age identity/expression is fairly blurry.

Age Non-Conformity

Refers to a tendency towards feeling, and expressing oneself in ways that do not adhere to society's expectations for maturity. It can be thought of as an inclusive blanket term for those in our community who feel "little" for whatever reasons.


Someone who feels their age identity is outside the socially constructed norms regarding age.

Assigned Age

Socially constructed labels given involuntarily to individuals based on their outward appearance. Example: A male person appears to be about 45 years of age, the assigned age identity given to him is "middle-aged man".


Someone who cares for a little.

Chronological Age

Someone's age as counted from birth. This is our legal definition of age. For example, someone born in 1990 is chronologically 24 years old in the year 2014

Coming Out Of The Toy Box

Analogous to coming out as LGBT but for age non-conforming folks.

Daddy Dom

A masculine identity for a little’s caretaker. Daddy Doms blend traditional dominance with the kindness of a parental role; sometimes called gentle Doms.


Someone who feels younger than they truly are and enjoys exploring this younger self. A little is typically a submissive in a BDSM dynamic but maybe a dominant or a switch outside of big/little play. Littles are treated more tenderly by their Bigs than in other Dom/sub arrangement. The focus is on nurturing the little, though rules are still put into place for the little’s behavior.

Mental Age/ Mentality

Used in more of a clinical/legal sense to convey the equivalent level of one's mental function compared to others of the same chronological age. Example: A chronologically aged male of 45 years who has a mental age of 2 would most likely be described as being functionally impaired and unable to live independently.

Mommy Domme

A feminine identity for a little’s caretaker. A female-identifying person who consensually takes power, authority, or control in a relationship, scene or activity.


Holly. (2013, April 06). What Is Age Play? Retrieved March 04, 2018, from https://kinklovers.com/bdsm-facts/what-is-age-play/

LittleLanding. (n.d.). Retrieved May 26, 2018, from https://aboutabdl.weebly.com/

The Posting Maven. (2015, June 28). ID a Day: Bigs & Littles • The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health. Retrieved March 04, 2018, from http://www.thecsph.org/id-a-day-bigs-littles/

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